cross it off the list

so, as all who are reading this blog* will know, i am reading (or, more accurately, blatantly ignoring) Lord of the Rings.
i'm nerdtastic**, so interest levels are not the obstacle. and i've been trying to figure out for weeks now*** why i just can't seem to make myself start up again.

...okay, size. size is definitely a factor. let's face it, that thing is cumbersome.

but book bulk never deterred me before. ironically, i've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out why i'm not reading the book instead of reading the book.****
but i think i've just had a breakthrough! Max Barry, an author i rather like, wrote this blog!
for those of you that the blog is about who didn't even click on that link and assumed tl;dr, i kindly include a quote highlighting my point.*****

"...maybe there is a class of people, to which I belong, that is becoming addicted to bite-sized information delivered by scattershot... So I am interested in fiction that works with the internet, rather than fights it. Something that doesn’t sit there, 400 pages heavy, asking for a seven-hour commitment before I start. That’s the kind of fiction I’d like to read right now. Something that sneaks under my guard and pries me away from memes and status updates. I would like to find that."

the "400 pages heavy, asking for seven-hour commitment" bit really speaks to me, seeing as LOTR is 1008 pages (not including maps, appendices and indices).
i thought my constant inattention and lack of motivation might be indicative of irreparable character flaws and (just barely) dormant neuroses. as it turns out, i'm just a hopeless internet addict! phew!

now that i've unraveled that enigma, i can cross it off my list of "Things To Do Other Than Read LOTR." now i can get to reading! ...perhaps after i finish editing the small collection of videos waiting on my hard drive.******

Notes:

* on this topic, you guys are really messin' me up here. it's not that i don't appreciate you reading, because i really do! <3 it's just that you're kinda making a liar out of me. if you haven't noticed the big blue banner (alliteration WIN! attention span FAIL) at the top, it says "Unread Blog." which was true when i made it. but it's rather false as of late. i've gotta do something about that. *sets out suggestion box*

** fantastically nerdy. is it weird that i don't know if this is an over-statement or an understatement?

*** literally, it's been 2 weeks since i last picked up that book!

**** in fact, i think it's reason #532 for not reading.

***** yeah, this one has a point! go figure, eh?

****** wow! are you sick of the star (i know it's an asterisk) thing yet? i am! thank goodness this blog is over and we can be done with them! but anyway, yeah, i've got at least three videos due to be posted. and i've had a few video ideas where i've been like, "sure. you can do that... after you finish the first three!" again i ask, where the hell are those extra hours?! i could kinda use them about now.