Friday, June 25, 2010

walk in my old shoes

so i just came in from lunch. late. because i was at a really good part in the book. well, all the parts are good. but that's beside the point.

the point is this. i gathered my things. i kept reading. i stood up. i kept reading. i turned around and walked to the door. i kept reading. and it was at this point that i didn't stop reading, but i had a feeling i haven't felt in years. i suddenly remembered ages 10-19, literally walking around reading. i would wake up and start reading. i would brush my teeth reading. i would walk through school hallways, dodging people, reading. i would even shower, with the door partly ajar, book propped on the toilet, towel nearby so i could turn pages with a dry hand. on the weekends, when i didn't have to sleep, i wouldn't. i would just keep reading.

and then, suddenly, that stopped. i don't know when it stopped. i can't mark the time or place. i just stopped reading like i used to. in fact, i stopped reading good old fashioned books in their booky form completely. e-books, and audio books as of late. but no sitting down with bound paper.

and this has bugged me. i mean, it really has bugged me. but it's one of those things that just nags at the back of your head and you just keep saying, "yes, later. yes, later." and sometimes i actually stop and feel a little ashamed, cuz i can't actually pinpoint when later will actually be.

and then today. that moment. that JUST happened.


i was me. i didn't even realize i hadn't been until i was again.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

two rules: clever, not stupid

blog, i have just experienced an epiphany: i, like John Green's Will Grayson, live by two rules. not nearly as drastic as his "shut up, and don't care," but easily just as ridiculous.

1. don't be stupid.

2. be clever.

i know what you're thinking. "seriously, Chelsea? you should really consider condensing that list to the ONE item that it is." but hear me out.

i had this epiphany in the printer room. as i was waiting for my print, i was thinking about how i would need to tell my coworker why there would be pages missing. i thought it would be clever to say that they had been "eliminated from existence" and i was working out the wording of this particular bit of cleverness, when i realized that i was working out the wording of this particular bit of cleverness. you wouldn't believe how much time in my life is spent working out the wording, and the general presentation of bits of cleverness. which lead me to also realize how much time i dedicate to not being stupid.

so first, and this is the most important one: don't be stupid. i don't mean, book-learned don't be stupid. anyone can be book-smart and still be a moron. i mean don't say or do anything that could be perceived as stupid. don't show insecurities, or weaknesses, or ignorance. in fact, don't enter into situations you don't know much about... well, ever.

and second: be clever. at any time you can possibly think of something clever and/or witty to say, say it. if it's not clever or witty, it's probably best unsaid. and since it's a little weird to be a mute, this means that most things i say have to be, on some level, witty or clever. this means most things that come out of my mouth are "tried and true" or are rehearsed in my head (granted, a quick rehearsal, but a rehearsal all the same). "tried and true" statements are things i've said before and have gone over well. most things i say are just a slightly tweaked version of a "tried and true." everything else gets a quick once over in my head. i always had something clever to retort. i never needed to pause long enough to be perceived as stupid.

the really crazy bit is i'm actually not as big on my two rules as i used to be. once upon a time, before entering social situations, i would think of the stories i might tell. and i would think of all the different reactions people could have. and i thought of all the clever things i could say to each different reaction. if people only knew that i was just saying lines. a moment to think about it wasn't thinking, it was a timed pause. their honest reactions were just my cues. a laugh - say this. challenge my remark - shoot back with the counterpoint.

one of the major problems with thinking of every possible reaction someone could have to whatever you say is that you're never surprised by anything. no conversation is original cuz you've already played it out in your head. after a while, conversation gets VERY boring. it's no wonder i've always had a small group of friends. it's only after a while of rehearsed conversations that i ever feel comfortable enough to be "spontaneous" and go improv.

now, again i say i'm not as big on my two rules as i used to be. but then it's very easy to "not be stupid" and "be clever" on the fly when you've already been doing it for over 10 years. in other words, i'm not as into them because i don't HAVE to be into them. nowadays i can coast on autopilot.

and for the record, just because i'd had my epiphany about cleverness, doesn't mean i didn't walk right up to my coworker and spit out my clever line, executed with the timing that only years of practice can provide. it was an epiphany, not an inspiration.

however, i have been inspired to try very hard at VidCon, the biggest social event i'll be involved in all year, to leave my rules behind. from Thursday night to Sunday night, for 72 hours, i'm going to put my script away, not even "improv," just say the genuine thoughts that come to my head. no flash rehearsals.

so... i'll let you know how that goes.

((NOTE: ironically, since the universe never misses the chance at a good laugh, the preview function for my blog isn't working. i almost ALWAYS find mistakes while looking at the preview view. what this means is that i can't properly do the editing that keeps me from looking stupid and occasionally allows me to seem witty and clever. classic.))

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

YouTube Spam

hello blog! wow! it's been a WHILE! did you miss me?!
ok, that was rhetorical. we both know you didn't, but that doesn't mean you should say so!

ok, so i found this little gem waiting for me in my email this morning. take a gander:

so there are several flaws in this proposition. let us go through them now.
  1. ok first, this is an ad. it is trying to entice people. "If you jus tried a bit harder you wud get notice more" that's kind of insulting. they're saying i'm not trying hard enough? also, "You cud do well to watch it". F you! you condescending prick!
  2. "this is the first time i saw a real Vid No the people acting up for the cam n stuff u got raw talent." i'd say, anyone watching YouTube for a "long time" has most likely seen a "real vid." it's just plain statistics. not to mention, EVERYONE is "acting up for the cam"!!! psych 101, anybody? and finally, i think we can all agree that there are many vloggers with far more "raw talent" than i possess! *cough*Lydia*cough*Meg*cough**choke*charlieissocoollike*cough**splutter**cough*vlogbrothers*cough* whoa! written cough attack! brutal!
  3. apparently, ol' Marcus was simultaneously inspired by 21 individuals. AMAZING! all of us, just oozing with untapped "raw talent"!
  4. Marcus apparently goes by the alias Emeline Tery Anese (emelineteryanese). what i can only interpret as three female names. fascinating.
  5. who the eff is emalineteryanese?!?! your ad might be a little more convincing if ANYONE knew who the fuck you are.
  6. improper use of gratuitous punctuation. i mean, seriously! "amazing video!!!!!!!.." and you've all read my writing! there's an example of gratuitous punctuation in my last point(s)! i enjoy gratuitous punctuation! ...and smileys. but i digress.
  7. you didn't think i wasn't gonna mention the grammer (or, more precisely, the lack thereof) did you? seriously, this is the piece de resistance!
    • the optional punctuation. sometimes we end our sentences with a period, sometimes we don't. completely random!
    • the random capitalization of the word "vid" along with the lowercase "i's". freakin' hell!
    • misspelled words that i just found generally offensive (in order of appearance): cam, n, jus, wud, alot, ya, and cud. yes, i know that "cam" and "ya" aren't that offensive, but in conjunction with the rest of this mess, they're intolerable.
so yeah. btw, i hate YouTube spam. especially poorly (if at all) thought out spam. also, i needed to update you, blog, since i haven't updated in forever, so i thought i'd share this! ^_^

Friday, June 18, 2010

experiment experiment

so I just got swype and it's silk in beta and I'm trying to see how fast I can go without I'm not going to correct anything so if something doesn't make sense its not my fault and remember I'm still learning.or getting used to making far I don't think its too much gayer.although I must say so far this is easier.well I suppose well see when I read this back.I think the result will be nothing be says a computer and keyboard.but this is still a cool idea.