Sunday, May 30, 2010

where's the beach?

i'm home! and then there was no internet!!! and then my mommy fixed it. apparently the power plug to the modem died. so, new power plug and all is well. (this is a nerd house, so we already had a new plug. ♥)
so today after the Guide meeting (which i attended whilst en route with the Skype app on my beloved Droid), i went to Redondo Beach with my family. that is, my mom, my brother, my aunt Roxanne, my aunt Judy, and my cousin Jay*.
because my aunt Roxanne is cheap and would rather walk half a mile than spend $10 on parking (no. literally.) we walked for way to long to get to - the "King's Wharf" or something?? we were supposed to end up at the beach. ya know. sand, water, and more sand, and then more water. but we never made it there. only my family wouldn't be able to figure out how to get to the large expanse of sand and water that stretches 840 miles (from the top to the bottom of California).
i just got very distracted by tweets midway through my last sentence, started clicking the links on said tweets, and it took me an hour to get back to finishing this blog. :/
now i'm just too sleepy to say anything else worth saying. if i continue, it will just end up as worthless gibberish. or wait, i think that constitutes the entire contents of this blog. shit. :/

*his actual name is John. i've asked both he and my mother why i call him Jay, and both said, "i don't know. that's just the way it's always been." so yeah.

Friday, May 28, 2010

in the future

hello blog!

so, i am very excited about VidCon. i mean, VERY excited. i mean, i think about it at least once a day. if it's not getting stuff to be signed and how i'm going to acquire those signatures for both myself and the Guide, then it's the birthday celebration part of the weekend and figuring out the logistics of it.
turning another year older is not impressive to me in the least. in fact, i would very much like NOT to get a year older. the celebration with friends who normally are in different states and countries however, sounds wonderful!

there are two things i'm doing, appropriately on video, for VidCon.
1) i'm doing a three part series (there are three History Mondays on 5BD till VidCon) covering cameras and video and the like.
2) i'm going to be vlogging every day from June 9th - July 8th in a project designed for all those going to VidCon to a) get to know each other and b) dust off those neglected channels and get reacquainted with video making. VidCon does, after all, stand for Video Conference.

so last night i watched a bunch of Gears' (the one responsible for this brilliant idea) videos and he did a thing where he vlogged every day in March. (i don't know if he was aware of VEDA at the time) and he did it so that he would stop planning every aspect of his videos, from his background to his clothing. and this new project of his, vlogging every day till VidCon, will help me achieve goals a and b, but it will also help me do what Gears did in March. stop being so freaking self-conscious!!!

i've done it with this blog. my last blog post would NEVER have happened if i had been self conscious about it. it's so fangirl! "i don't want to be seen as a fangirl! ugh! i'd rather be dead!" and, of course, everyone reading my blog is going to disregard every post i've ever written before, and every blog after, and judge me solely on the "fangirl blog."

so i need to have the same approach with my vlog. nothing will ever get posted to that channel if i keep being self-conscious about it! i have footage from at least 2 or 3 videos that i've never posted because i was too self-conscious.

so while we're talking about things i'm going to start doing, i've been wanting to do something, another device to get me vlogging, less self-conscious and getting to know people better: no comments, only vid response.

i can record video and post to YT straight from my phone, and my video camera has a feature to download straight to YT, so it's not like loading a bunch of response videos would be a hassle. i have a small arsenal of technology that makes it incredibly easy. so after VidCon, this is my plan!

also, Daily Booth. i HAVE NOT been posting to DB enough! and once again, it's because i don't want to take a boring picture. god forbid i'm not perceived as absolutely brilliant and fascinating! so expect those a bit more often as well! :)

so that should more or less cover my online plans for the next 2 months. XD

Thursday, May 27, 2010

OK Go Show

hi blog!

so usually i don't write anything because my life is really boring and i don't have anything to say and i'm not creative or intelligent enough to just pick some random topic to write about. but is that the reason i haven't written? NO! i've actually had things write about and instead i'm just like, "hmm. i should write a blog later." and then later never comes. :/

so, because this is the most exciting thing that's happened as of late, i'm gonna talk about going to see OK Go. because i've loved this band since '02 and yet last Friday was only the SECOND time i've seen them. as opposed to Hellogoodbye, which i also LOVE and i've seen them like 4 times. twice in the past year.
but back to OK Go!

so first, let's go back, way back to Chelsea's late teenage years. this is summer '02 and i've just graduated HS. i'm hanging out at my now ex-best friends house and she goes, "oh my god! listen to this song! it's so weird! it says something about a Cadillac or something... just listen!"
the line she was referring to goes like this, "Aren't you just catch, what a prize, got a body like a battle axe. Love that perfect frown, honest eyes, we oughta buy you a Cadillac!" and i will never forget that hot summer day, August, standing in her living room. it was the kind of hot where the artificial cold being pumped out of the vents only reminds you of how hot it really is because it's serving to mask the heat. and i'm standing there, listening to these crazy lyrics, going, "what??? *listens* what??? *listens* what???" (by the way, put a full valley girl accent on that quote, and you'll know exactly how i sounded.) fast forward to me downloading the song (illegally) when i get home. then downloading the whole album. watch me read OK Go's bio on watch me look at this picture
and think, "to each his own, i guess" because although the bio said they had a hot lead singer, i didn't agree. not from that picture anyway. and at the time, that was the only one available. and then fast forward to me in the Target, waiting for their video to come on. waiting for the part where the music cuts out and it goes to a scene of them playing ping-pong, then goes back to the video at hand. SO WEIRD! who DOES that? i'm mesmerized. watch me buy the album, because i believe in supporting artists that i love, especially when they're small, especially when i'm addicted. then, fast forward to me and my friend, front row at the Troubadour, close enough to touch them. me doing all i can not to stare with my mouth open because that picture doesn't do the singer justice. that bio was right. he IS hot. and when he's not singing, he walks away from the mic and over to his amp, and he has this smile like he has a secret. but a good one. and, man if you knew! but he's not telling. and i just want to walk up and hug him and get him to let me in on the secret. and i hope the trade-off is sex. and the last number: a choreographed dance. my barely 18 year old mind was blown.

now go to last Friday. me and Tiff are somewhere in the mid-center of the crowd. good view. at the Fonda. way bigger than the Troubadour, but still small. and imagine my absolute thrill when the lead singer plays the acoustic song off the album right in the center of the crowd. right in front of me and Tiff! i'm too deep in awe to do anything but stare.
he jumps off the stage later on, right in front of us again. and i touch his back. like an affirmation, after all these years, that such a thing is possible. yes, he's real. and every now and then during the night, i catch a glimpse of that same secret smile. my reaction now is identical to my reaction 8 years ago.

well, i have to go to bed now. i could say a lot more. but it's too late. and all for the best i suppose.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

book signing

this blog, comin' at ya in three parts, is what happened between 7pm and 11pm.

Homeward Bound... i think
as i walked down the dark alley toward my car, fiddling with my phone all the while, i couldn't help but pause and think of Allison.
"what kind of person goes around walking down dark alleys?" i had said incredulously.
apparently, i do.*
so i set my GPS to guide me home, and... there's a crucial moment when you're being directed by a navigation system where it tells you to make a turn and gives you time to switch lanes. at this particular moment, my mother called. i panicked. if i picked up the phone, i wouldn't hear the navigation directions. if i let it keep ringing, i wouldn't hear the navigation directions. i rejected the call and saw that i was in the wrong lane and would not be able to make a right turn.
"oh, no. i'm lost."
so, of course, i panic even more and when the GPS tells me to make a right in half a mile, i make the first right i see. and when the GPS tells me to take a left in 3/4 miles, i take the first left i see. i, finally, start listening to the logical side of my consciousness that, by this time, is screaming, "Chelsea! what the fuck are you doing? LISTEN TO THE GPS! JUST FOLLOW THE INTRUCTIONS!"
so i take a deep breath, say, "ok," and follow the navigation's instructions till i'm home.

On the Catwalk
so, GPS navigation systems are useful and hilarious tools. useful in that they get you places, hilarious in that they butcher street names. Hazletine is has-ul-tine. Cañon (canyon) is canon. and La Cienega (see-en-egg-a) is La see-nigga.
once i found the place on La SeeNigga, it was time to play the parking game! i circle the block 3 times before i find a spot in the alley that doesn't threaten to tow my car if i'm not a patron of Blockbuster** or a resident.
after parking, i find i'm not the only one favoring this alley way. apparently, it is also a good place to learn to walk like a model in 6 inch stiletto heels. taught, of course, by a tall black gay man. i mean, to be honest, i wasn't a block away from the Beverly Center, so i wasn't exactly thrown by seeing a tall black man in heels. i was more shocked by how fancy and chic they were. i was more shocked to see someone drive up and drop off pink, sparkly heels for the model. i was more shocked that they felt this alley was a good place to practice.
at the door, people were checking names off a list. i wasn't on this list. i asked if you had to be on the list. the guy said that if there were any no-shows, he would let me in a 8pm. so i had 15 minutes to kill. i sat in my car***, chatted with my mom on the phone, and surreptitiously watched the model-walk lessons.

Blow It Up
to do anything interesting, you have to drive over the hill, out of the sunny Valley, and down into the wonderful chaos that is Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and eventually, the coast. you are not in Kansas anymore. it would not be unusual if you did, in fact, run into representatives of the Lollipop Guild.
this is the perfect place for a book signing by Chuck Palahniuk, an author whose characters would feel right at home in WeHo (way-ho)****.
at 8pm i walk to the door, pay for a book (which is the entrance fee), and get an assigned seat in the front row.
so the basis of "Tell All" is the story of a woman who's award is weighing her down. (that was the crappiest explanation ever, but i need to move on.) and apparently Chuck likes to have games during his readings. so he got a bunch of blow up award statues. i mean, these things stood about 5 feet tall. and there were two rounds where you had to blow these up as fast as you could, and in the last round you had to blow up a giant heart. the few who could blow these up the quickest would get a blow up turkey as a prize.
"I saw these and I just HAD to get them!" says Chuck, admiring the signed turkey he's holding up.
he was nervous. but he played it off well. only if you were really paying attention (watching his hands shake as he turned the pages, watching him play with a ring while he answered questions) would you realize his nervousness. his voice didn't waiver, his eyes didn't wander. when he stops to think before answering a question, he goes into a kind of suspended animation. he crosses his arms, presses his lips together, stares straight ahead, and just stays there. not moving. then he reanimates and says his answer.
one thing i did not like. NO PICTURES! who doesn't allow pictures?!
it was a strange night. but i would have been disappointed had it not been. :)

*i would like to point out that i still stick firm to my stance that a gun would not have improved my situation had there randomly been 5 guys there waiting to pounce.
**seriously, Blockbuster? you're gonna pretend you can fill all those spots? cuz we both know you're a dinosaur sinking in the tar of the internet. not even half of the parking spaces were taken! and we both know most of those cars belonged to employees.
***this car is not, in fact, mine, but a rental. short story: the car freaked out on me on my way home from work on Monday and we rented a car for the week on Tuesday morning. the work is under warranty, so no new cost on our part. and in fact the work is finished and we've gotten the car back, but we still have the rental.
****WeHo, or West Hollywood, if you don't already know, is SoCal's gay capital. (SanFran or Frisco, obviously being NorCal's captial.) there is also a NoHo. and to be fair, it is north of Hollywood, though not actually in Hollywood at all. it's in the Valley. i spent most my childhood there. by the way, we seem to like our shortened names here in Cali.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Had to share this. Because, strangely, it effects all of our lives. :/
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Monday, May 10, 2010

i imagine...

oh hai blog!

what's that? you feel that i've been blatantly neglecting you? thinking about you constantly, yet avoiding you like the plague the way a 13 year old girl with a crush would? ok, i was gonna lie. i was gonna say it's your imagination, you're a bit melodramatic, and seriously, i only like you as a friend. but we both know the truth.

i've been avoiding you, blog. and it's because i've gone ahead and set up stupid impossible standards that only exist in my mind... again.

you see, i've put you on this pedestal, blog. and now i can't just dribble out some mundane pablum. we're beyond that now. we've done better. and to go back to the drivel... it just seems like an injustice!

and so i've chosen to neglect you in favor of sparing you worthless nonsense. but can you blame me, blog? really?

so, because i'm a complete fucking psycho (or that's what all the evidence indicates, in any case) i've taken on a new collab project. and i'm covering history. now this really, in all seriousness, is NOT a big deal. unless you're me and you've decided that paranoia is necessary in all aspects of your life.

so do i simply say, "hey! i'll give the wiki randomizer a spin till i find something i like, research it further, then vlog about it"? of course i fucking don't! do you see any nail biting, lip chewing, or nervous ticks developing with that method? NO! so, clearly, not the choice for me.

ok, so i don't bite my nails, nor do i have any nervous ticks, but i do chew my lips. and just give it some time! with a little diligence (and continuance of my current habits) i'll get there! have a little faith, yeah?

and if you don't believe that i can turn any situation into a panic attack, just take this blog as an example. it's simple really. think of something, write about it. but no. i have to think, "later, when i have time. i'll research it and make it really good." and instead there's no post at all.

so from here on in, here's to not making such a big frickin' deal about everything.

and now that i've put everything into perspective, thus clearing all of the ridiculous anxiety clouding my mind, i've figured out, during the writing of this post, what the next 2-3 5BD videos will be about.

thanks, blog. you're such a good listener! and you always know just what to say.