Sunday, August 1, 2010

and so it begins...

hey, Blog! fancy meeting you here!

(it's random, but it's from my favorite band and is absolutely ridiculous. as is this blog. well, it's not from my favorite band... you know what i mean!)
Hellogoodbye - Welcome to My Record [GM OG Mix] by coolhandjohnny

so here we are, doing that BEDA thing again, except this time the A stands for August. why am i doing this you ask? well clearly i didn't get enough torture the last time!!!

seriously though, i'm doing this because i got to know my friends better doing this project. and even more of them are doing it this time which means it's going to be even better! also, i kind of failed last time. ...well, i did fail last time. there were days i forgot to post or posted late, and this time i wanna do it right! so here's to 30 more days of this! :)

oh, and you may notice the lack of snazzy countdown counter. i thought i was gonna do one, but then realized, last minute, that i just couldn't be bothered and would rather work on my secret projects which are discussed (cryptically) herein.

so i think we should start out seeing what i'm doing today and now, and then comparing notes on the 31st. that's one of my out of thin air ideas, so theoretically, it should work.

right now i'm working on two relatively secret projects with my friends Meg and Lydia. (who are also doing BEDA and who are pretty much the only people who read my blog.) hi guys! or i should say ladies. but i won't because that just is getting way too PC and i was just going for an informal greeting. digression!!! so yeah, relatively secret projects. "relatively" because Meg knows about me and Lydia's project, and a small handful of people (such as Lydia) know about me and Meg's project. but only I know all the details of BOTH! muahahahaha!

ok, not a big deal, but hey! how often do you get to pull out the evil laughter??? right?

also, i'm trying to talk myself into paying for LeakyCon right now. it's in Orlando next year. first day is my birthday. so i could LEGITIMATELY make it my birthday present for next year. however, i don't have the money for it at the moment. well, i mean TECHNICALLY i COULD pay for it now. but that's just generally a BAD idea. the con itself isn't the price i'm worried about. it's the hotel stay. and LeakyCon's forum doesn't have a roommate section like VidCon's did. :( oh, nerd dilemmas!

and next summer is going to be a VERY expensive summer that i'm going to have to start saving now for. there's VidCon, and ComicCon, and SitC. SitC obviously being the most expensive as it will include a flight and hotel stay in London. ComicCon will require a hotel stay in San Diego. and VidCon, even if it's in LA again, will require a hotel stay. plus the cost of the cons themselves. so now, thinking about investing in LeakyCon... i just don't know. cuz i'm already determined to go to the other three. Also, i have to book the hotel now. and that's the most expensive part! i just don't have the money to pay for that part right now. the flight and the con yes. the hotel, no. if it were the other way around, i'd do it. but it's not. ALSO, i'm planning on buying a car soon. car payments + insurance = EXPENSIVE. so, don't exactly have the funds to be shelling out for expensive hotels in Orlando at the moment. :( #nerddilemma

wow, did i just devote not one, but TWO paragraphs to cons that are happening NEXT YEAR! yeah, i'm just gonna pass that one off as #hotnerdsexy. a term i invented two weeks ago. more on that in blogs to come.

for now, i leave you! and considering how long this thing has gotten, i think you're probably glad. #relief #thankgodshestoppedtyping or, if you're Lydia, #thanknoentityinparticularidon'tbelieveinthatshitshestoppedtyping

Thursday, July 29, 2010


this is a quickie folks. so here's what just happened:

back story (so that this makes sense): i pass out a terabyte external hard drive to every one of the engineers every Thursday so they can back up their data.

my coworker comes in, and he tilts the drive a bit before he sets it down on my desk. then he says, "oops! i spilled some data there!" #nerdjokes #soawful #ilawled

and that concludes our quickie. i hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

chuck progress

so last time dear friends, we talked about how i pretty much always act on my random impulse ideas. how sometimes they're great, like #hotnerdsexy, and sometimes they're bad like blogging my progress of two Chuck Klosterman books. but as they're both impulse ideas, they're both coming to fruition.
so here's how the progression of Chuck, or my Chuck Progress* as i'm calling it, is going to work. we're coming up on Blog Every Day in August, and i'm sure no one, including myself wants to read/write an entire blog about a potentially boring and unbloggable book every day. so we're going to do this blog thing as normal, and then , occasionally (when i actually have time to read), in a section of it's own, will be the Chuck Progress. this way, you can skip it with ease if you wish, i get to continue with my suicide mission, and everybody's happy. :)
so, with no further ado:

Chuck Progress

The first thing you will notice is the text is saturated in the word fuck. the next thing you will notice is that it's rather funny. a bit pompous... no shamelessly pompous, just shy of annoying, which makes it tolerable long enough to be funny and even relevant.
--god, sometimes i really like listening to myself talk (write). honestly, so far, it's a bit pessimistic. very "why bother cuz you'll never find true happiness." and i'm, well, far too optimistic to really buy into any of it. but i will say it's entertaining, and does occassionally fall upon pearls of truth. for the record: i'm on page 4.


"The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy."

"If Woody Allen had never been born, I'm sure I would be doomed to a life of celibacy."

* i'm calling this project "Chuck Progress" for 2 reasons. 1) the obvious. it's following my progress through Chuck Klosterman books. 2) i think it's clear that i have no real faith in this project and therefore believe that it may in fact end up hindering progress. so, we'll take it by it's other meaning. throw out progress. as in, throw it into the trash. as in, might as well since you'll get equally far either way.

Monday, July 19, 2010

bad idea

sometimes project ideas are gradual. they start with an inspiration. whatever the thing is that inspired you is, you think about it and you think about it. you analyze and you discuss and you develop. and then you finally have this plan.
sometimes project ideas just hit you. they're random. they're completely undeveloped. you're not even sure how you are going to do them, or if you even WANT to do them. but like magic, almost as though they've been introduced by someone else, they're there. in your head. and if you're me, you do them.

Amazon likes to suggest things to you. at first it's kind of annoying. but if you think about it (and you happen to find marketing fascinating!) then you find that it's rather genius. every suggestion is based on what YOU LIKE. so it's very likely that buying what they suggest is a good idea.

i'm stubborn. the more i'm told to do something, the less likely i am to do it, and more apt to drag my feet about it. if something is popular and everyone is doing it (society telling me to do something) i run away from it. if my mother says i should do something, i fight it... or do it later. homework, school, whatever, apply this to EVERYTHING, and you have my reaction to ANYTHING. and, to make it worse, despite the fact that i know this system doesn't work, or at least it works very poorly, i do it anyway. because i'm stubborn.

so Amazon has been suggesting books by author Chuck Klosterman for years. literally. i've been stubbornly ignoring this suggestion for a LONG time. but while walking down a random aisle in the library, as i like to do, i came across a couple of his books. literally, there were two lone Chuck Klosterman books sitting among a sea of other authors. (we're gonna ignore for a moment that TWO books in a SEA of other books is hardly "lone" just this once, ok? stay with me!) since i recognized the name instantly from seeing it thrown at me for so many years, i finally caved and decided to pick them up.

i mentioned my happenstance with these books, and a few people expressed interest in me letting them know how it went. you know, the reading of the books.

VidCon is this thing where 1400 people who make and watch videos on YouTube, as well as a few of the people who run YouTube, went to go celebrate the wonderfulness of each other much like a giant hippy orgy, but with all of the physical contact and none of the nudity or sex. yeah. awesome.

preparing for VidCon, going to VidCon, then recovering from VidCon left NO TIME for beginning, or even remembering Chuck Klosterman books, the library, Amazon, or my family. hence, i just picked up "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs" for the first time today.

i got through the preface. i didn't know it was a preface. it was sneaky and unmarked! but i read it. and nearly the very moment after i had read it, i got my idea. (i say nearly because DIRECTLY after reading it, i ran head first into the table of contents and realized i'd just read a preface! so this is afterward.) i'm going to blog my progress.

this may very easily be the worst and most boring idea i've EVER come up with. but, as i said in the beginning of this blog, when those sudden, possibly implanted by a mutant being or alien ideas come into my head, i just do them. and this is one of those. so i'm doing it. i will probably give up. but that's part of the fun.

i am also going to note that i recognize this as a BAD and STUPID idea directly before Blog Every Day in August, but we're doing it anyway!

oh, and for the record, i liked the preface. despite it's devious and misleading nature.

Friday, June 25, 2010

walk in my old shoes

so i just came in from lunch. late. because i was at a really good part in the book. well, all the parts are good. but that's beside the point.

the point is this. i gathered my things. i kept reading. i stood up. i kept reading. i turned around and walked to the door. i kept reading. and it was at this point that i didn't stop reading, but i had a feeling i haven't felt in years. i suddenly remembered ages 10-19, literally walking around reading. i would wake up and start reading. i would brush my teeth reading. i would walk through school hallways, dodging people, reading. i would even shower, with the door partly ajar, book propped on the toilet, towel nearby so i could turn pages with a dry hand. on the weekends, when i didn't have to sleep, i wouldn't. i would just keep reading.

and then, suddenly, that stopped. i don't know when it stopped. i can't mark the time or place. i just stopped reading like i used to. in fact, i stopped reading good old fashioned books in their booky form completely. e-books, and audio books as of late. but no sitting down with bound paper.

and this has bugged me. i mean, it really has bugged me. but it's one of those things that just nags at the back of your head and you just keep saying, "yes, later. yes, later." and sometimes i actually stop and feel a little ashamed, cuz i can't actually pinpoint when later will actually be.

and then today. that moment. that JUST happened.


i was me. i didn't even realize i hadn't been until i was again.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

two rules: clever, not stupid

blog, i have just experienced an epiphany: i, like John Green's Will Grayson, live by two rules. not nearly as drastic as his "shut up, and don't care," but easily just as ridiculous.

1. don't be stupid.

2. be clever.

i know what you're thinking. "seriously, Chelsea? you should really consider condensing that list to the ONE item that it is." but hear me out.

i had this epiphany in the printer room. as i was waiting for my print, i was thinking about how i would need to tell my coworker why there would be pages missing. i thought it would be clever to say that they had been "eliminated from existence" and i was working out the wording of this particular bit of cleverness, when i realized that i was working out the wording of this particular bit of cleverness. you wouldn't believe how much time in my life is spent working out the wording, and the general presentation of bits of cleverness. which lead me to also realize how much time i dedicate to not being stupid.

so first, and this is the most important one: don't be stupid. i don't mean, book-learned don't be stupid. anyone can be book-smart and still be a moron. i mean don't say or do anything that could be perceived as stupid. don't show insecurities, or weaknesses, or ignorance. in fact, don't enter into situations you don't know much about... well, ever.

and second: be clever. at any time you can possibly think of something clever and/or witty to say, say it. if it's not clever or witty, it's probably best unsaid. and since it's a little weird to be a mute, this means that most things i say have to be, on some level, witty or clever. this means most things that come out of my mouth are "tried and true" or are rehearsed in my head (granted, a quick rehearsal, but a rehearsal all the same). "tried and true" statements are things i've said before and have gone over well. most things i say are just a slightly tweaked version of a "tried and true." everything else gets a quick once over in my head. i always had something clever to retort. i never needed to pause long enough to be perceived as stupid.

the really crazy bit is i'm actually not as big on my two rules as i used to be. once upon a time, before entering social situations, i would think of the stories i might tell. and i would think of all the different reactions people could have. and i thought of all the clever things i could say to each different reaction. if people only knew that i was just saying lines. a moment to think about it wasn't thinking, it was a timed pause. their honest reactions were just my cues. a laugh - say this. challenge my remark - shoot back with the counterpoint.

one of the major problems with thinking of every possible reaction someone could have to whatever you say is that you're never surprised by anything. no conversation is original cuz you've already played it out in your head. after a while, conversation gets VERY boring. it's no wonder i've always had a small group of friends. it's only after a while of rehearsed conversations that i ever feel comfortable enough to be "spontaneous" and go improv.

now, again i say i'm not as big on my two rules as i used to be. but then it's very easy to "not be stupid" and "be clever" on the fly when you've already been doing it for over 10 years. in other words, i'm not as into them because i don't HAVE to be into them. nowadays i can coast on autopilot.

and for the record, just because i'd had my epiphany about cleverness, doesn't mean i didn't walk right up to my coworker and spit out my clever line, executed with the timing that only years of practice can provide. it was an epiphany, not an inspiration.

however, i have been inspired to try very hard at VidCon, the biggest social event i'll be involved in all year, to leave my rules behind. from Thursday night to Sunday night, for 72 hours, i'm going to put my script away, not even "improv," just say the genuine thoughts that come to my head. no flash rehearsals.

so... i'll let you know how that goes.

((NOTE: ironically, since the universe never misses the chance at a good laugh, the preview function for my blog isn't working. i almost ALWAYS find mistakes while looking at the preview view. what this means is that i can't properly do the editing that keeps me from looking stupid and occasionally allows me to seem witty and clever. classic.))

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

YouTube Spam

hello blog! wow! it's been a WHILE! did you miss me?!
ok, that was rhetorical. we both know you didn't, but that doesn't mean you should say so!

ok, so i found this little gem waiting for me in my email this morning. take a gander:

so there are several flaws in this proposition. let us go through them now.
  1. ok first, this is an ad. it is trying to entice people. "If you jus tried a bit harder you wud get notice more" that's kind of insulting. they're saying i'm not trying hard enough? also, "You cud do well to watch it". F you! you condescending prick!
  2. "this is the first time i saw a real Vid No the people acting up for the cam n stuff u got raw talent." i'd say, anyone watching YouTube for a "long time" has most likely seen a "real vid." it's just plain statistics. not to mention, EVERYONE is "acting up for the cam"!!! psych 101, anybody? and finally, i think we can all agree that there are many vloggers with far more "raw talent" than i possess! *cough*Lydia*cough*Meg*cough**choke*charlieissocoollike*cough**splutter**cough*vlogbrothers*cough* whoa! written cough attack! brutal!
  3. apparently, ol' Marcus was simultaneously inspired by 21 individuals. AMAZING! all of us, just oozing with untapped "raw talent"!
  4. Marcus apparently goes by the alias Emeline Tery Anese (emelineteryanese). what i can only interpret as three female names. fascinating.
  5. who the eff is emalineteryanese?!?! your ad might be a little more convincing if ANYONE knew who the fuck you are.
  6. improper use of gratuitous punctuation. i mean, seriously! "amazing video!!!!!!!.." and you've all read my writing! there's an example of gratuitous punctuation in my last point(s)! i enjoy gratuitous punctuation! ...and smileys. but i digress.
  7. you didn't think i wasn't gonna mention the grammer (or, more precisely, the lack thereof) did you? seriously, this is the piece de resistance!
    • the optional punctuation. sometimes we end our sentences with a period, sometimes we don't. completely random!
    • the random capitalization of the word "vid" along with the lowercase "i's". freakin' hell!
    • misspelled words that i just found generally offensive (in order of appearance): cam, n, jus, wud, alot, ya, and cud. yes, i know that "cam" and "ya" aren't that offensive, but in conjunction with the rest of this mess, they're intolerable.
so yeah. btw, i hate YouTube spam. especially poorly (if at all) thought out spam. also, i needed to update you, blog, since i haven't updated in forever, so i thought i'd share this! ^_^

Friday, June 18, 2010

experiment experiment

so I just got swype and it's silk in beta and I'm trying to see how fast I can go without I'm not going to correct anything so if something doesn't make sense its not my fault and remember I'm still learning.or getting used to making far I don't think its too much gayer.although I must say so far this is easier.well I suppose well see when I read this back.I think the result will be nothing be says a computer and keyboard.but this is still a cool idea.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

where's the beach?

i'm home! and then there was no internet!!! and then my mommy fixed it. apparently the power plug to the modem died. so, new power plug and all is well. (this is a nerd house, so we already had a new plug. ♥)
so today after the Guide meeting (which i attended whilst en route with the Skype app on my beloved Droid), i went to Redondo Beach with my family. that is, my mom, my brother, my aunt Roxanne, my aunt Judy, and my cousin Jay*.
because my aunt Roxanne is cheap and would rather walk half a mile than spend $10 on parking (no. literally.) we walked for way to long to get to - the "King's Wharf" or something?? we were supposed to end up at the beach. ya know. sand, water, and more sand, and then more water. but we never made it there. only my family wouldn't be able to figure out how to get to the large expanse of sand and water that stretches 840 miles (from the top to the bottom of California).
i just got very distracted by tweets midway through my last sentence, started clicking the links on said tweets, and it took me an hour to get back to finishing this blog. :/
now i'm just too sleepy to say anything else worth saying. if i continue, it will just end up as worthless gibberish. or wait, i think that constitutes the entire contents of this blog. shit. :/

*his actual name is John. i've asked both he and my mother why i call him Jay, and both said, "i don't know. that's just the way it's always been." so yeah.