The following is the dialogue inside my brain whilst making another cup of chai tea.
"hmm... that's (the Equal i.e. a fake sweetener) supposed to be bad for you. i take in tons of that stuff per day. i'm probably going to get stomach cancer. ooh! i've heard stomach cancer is really painful! a horrible slow death. well, but that's ok cuz i'll OD on my meds. or i'll have euthanasia. youth. in. Asia. yes. little Chinese children will give up their souls to cure my stomach cancer. it's bound to be better than having to work in the sweat shop. they'll DEFINITELY be going to heaven! probably about 5 would do it..."
seriously, mind? seriously?! what are you thinking?!