Personal Space

today, we are going to discuss comfort levels as they relate to distance. if everyone would turn their attention to the diagram:



i would appreciate it if the majority would stay in the area marked "Social" or further.
now- there is a slight variation i would like to discuss. i know the diagram demonstrates that personal space ends at 1.5 ft., but for me it's around 2-2.5 ft. depending on your creepiness level, personal odor and how many drinks i've had.
please utilize this information accordingly.

YouTube Invites

sometimes i feel bad when i get messages on YouTube from random video makers asking me to go watch their videos. especially when everything from the copy to the screen shot makes me say, "wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole."
there should be some kind of marketing license you have to acquire before you're allowed to spam ppl.

mom

my mom is awesome. just needed to say that.

um... ew.

this is what i get for reading about serial killers:

"Buzzards and nimble crows work Highway 100 like so many Eighth Avenue hookers, with one eye on their business and the other on the lookout for The Man. "

such excellent imagery of such a disturbing image.

Grr...

i've said it before, i'll say it again: my computer at work annoys me beyond reason.

here is how it makes me feel:



i'm glad i don't have a laptop at work. i would look rather strange biting it like that.

Open Letter to Those I've Blocked

Dear Everyone,

if i've blocked you on facebook, it means i would not like to hear from you ever again.

if i've blocked you, and everyone you know, i am now pretending you never existed. so you see how i might find it rather inconvenient if you keep emailing or texting me on my birthday. seeing your name in my inbox is simply a nuisance.

if you find that the urge to contact me is still irresistible, might i suggest dropping yourself off a building.

seeing as i've blocked you, you're probably one of those smug, self-righteous assholes who wouldn't be able to identify sage advice if it walked up and bit you in the face (which would be rather admirable of the sage advice). in fact, you would probably demonstrate precisely why you're so contemptible and argue vehemently to the contrary. hence it is only part of your loathsome nature to blatantly disregard my suggestion and continue fouling up my inbox.

so if you must, please DO NOT send a message such as this:



we will now examine the above example and i shall indicate the points that make it truly obnoxious.

1) "-B" <-- pretension like that takes years of practice.
2) you see that line right above the pretentious signature? yeah, that's what you call a salutation. it belongs at the beginning, moron.
3) "title says it all." <-- then why the fuck did you keep writing?! i mean, i'm bewildered as to why you wrote at all, but why waste the time fumbling on?
4) "all's well?" <-- well, it was until i had to waste my time deleting this email. jerk.
5) "so now that i got a moment, swinging in to say a late happy birthday." this part is so annoying it needs further segmentation.
       a) why on earth do you still think of me when you have a moment? PLEASE DON'T. it would be better for everyone if you found something else to do with your moments. preferably solitaire.
       b) this is an email. you're not swinging in from anywhere. and i'd get a restraining order if you did.
       c) creepiness factor. really? ever since 2 weeks ago (my birthday), when you were too busy, you've been thinking, "i've gotta email her!" again i will reiterate: please don't think of me- ever.
6) this one's the big one. 2 weeks have passed. my birthday is long forgotten by now. i'm shocked to see ANYTHING referring to my birthday. and then it has to be this. it's a surprise attack! unforgivably obnoxious.

oh, and if you DON'T heed my warning, and DO send an email such as this, know that you will be blocked.

(sigh) why do i waste my time? we both know you're a self-serving prick and will continue to try contacting me until i realize how wonderful you are.

-Chelsea

Spreading Cheer

i cheered up my favorite YouTuber! :)



*dusts off hands* my work here is done!

Home from Work

taking a day off work. nothing makes you abandon your work ethic like a "raise."



that's right kids! a whole $0.80.

and so i'm staying home. there may be many more days like this. only time- and money- will tell.

Taking Leave

i just so happened to receive my copy of "Taking Leave" on my birthday, which was just an extra helping from a giant dish of awesome.
the rhythm of the lyrics, along with the lyrics themselves, are nice to drink in when you have a quiet moment to contemplate them. personally, i like to listen to it on my ride home from work. something to lose myself in during the interval between work mode and home mode.

experience it for yourself by clicking here --> Taking Leave
or by clicking the album cover above. :)

yayness! <3

this made me happy!

**UPDATE 2010/01/07** yeah, so... apparently something on Nerimon's old blog made me happy. however his blog is no longer accessible. so... damn. :/

color me random...

first, here's a picture of my cake last week.



ok. now i have to say what pissed me off about the Harry Potter movie. first: why is he riding trains? the whole point is that he doesn't have a "normal" existence in the muggle world. he's locked in his bedroom all the time. him having train adventures doesn't fit. second: what the hell with the scene where they burn the house down? couldn't we have nixed that little creation and instead kept more of the story line intact? with the time wasted there, you could have kept in the attack on the castle. third: why the fuck is Ginny hiding the book with Harry. the whole point of him going to the Room of Requirement to hide his book instead of just sticking it in his dorm is so that he'll mark the spot with the horcrux. that's it. in book 6 you're thinking (or at least i was), "why are you wasting all that time hiding that book instead of just sticking it under your bed for now?" then you find out it's a crucial point near the end of book 7. they basically destroyed this in the movie. what lame way they've dreamed up for Harry to find the 6th horcrux in the movie we'll just have to wait and see, but that certainly pissed me off. and lastly: what the FUCK with the Dumbledore death scene. Harry is supposed to throw himself over the body and sob uncontrollably and no one's able to pull him away until he finally allows himself to be lead away by Ginny. instead, they replace what should have been the most powerful scene of the movie with some corny moment of everyone holding up their wands and Harry just sitting there crying. just plain crying next to the body while Ginny hugs him. just corny, dumb and weak.
i did however like the apparating. and they did the Felix Felicis scene very well.

and now, because i can, i bring you: work fruit (as in fruit i eat at work, not fruits of my labor).

Governor's Letter

after a call to action i finally got a response.



it basically says, "yeah. we know what we're doing is awful, but we're gonna do it anyway. so just suck it up, okay?"

i hate government.

...and a blogger as well.

to blog or not to blog- that is the question.

so i answered: fuck it! why not?

i twitter, i facebook, i soulpancake (http://www.soulpancake.com/), so why not blog too?